New Years Looms Large

Well folks, it's that time of year again. The time we make resolutions that usually last for about 12 hours. We've all been there. We've all sworn to lose weight, join a gym, quit smoking, stop doing somethingoranother or, start doing somethingoranother.

We turn around and realize that another year has passed. If we're fortunate, we look back and say "Damn, I did it. I accomplished it."

Or more often the case, we look back and think, "What a fucking waste this year was."

So here it is again. Dec 31st looming large. Time to for us to set new expectations in our lives. Expectations that in just one day we can change something in our life we're not happy with.

And if truth be known... we can. It's just that sometimes 1 year is not enough time to achieve it.

I've long grown past the 'party in a bar' New Years celebration. For the last few years I've stayed at home, barely caring to watch the ball drop in Times Square, but still I resolved to do a few things. In years past I've resolved to get out of a nothingness of a marriage, get a financial hold on my life, buy a house. All of them took more than one year to do. But this year, I look back and find them all done. Frankly, it's rather surreal.

It's also a time to look back and say thanks for the things that did go right during the year. What I thank God most for, is the continued good health of me and my kids.

But, I have one last resolution left. One last thing I want to accomplish. And this one is huge. This one is scary. This one would change me almost more than all the others. And I don't know if I'm brave enough to do it. It's something I wish for everyday. I battle every day over it. Every.single.day. But having it done, would make me so very happy.

It'll be interesting to look back a year from now, and see if I had the guts to go through with it.

Oy

Just when I was going to learn to keep my opinions to myself...

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well. Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

Weird Habits Tagged.

You've been tagged (by Pretty Peanut)! Here are the rules; the first player of this game starts with the topic. Five weird habits of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says “You are tagged” (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

5 weird habits. hmm.

Hmmm.

I have quirks. Do they count?

1. I luv coffee. I am not human until I get my coffee. I.really.love.my.coffee. My ex used to wake me up by poking me. You know, that kind of poking. He's lucky I didn't un-attached it from his body kind of poking. He learned to wake me up with coffee. It's still attached. All because of coffee. He's the only person I know that might love coffee more than I do.

2. I have an extreme weakness for tall men. This is measured in direct contrast to my complete oblivion to short men. Tall men send instant visions of sex to my brain. Instant.

3. I'm a fixer. If there's a problem. I will come up with a solution. This comes in handy in times of a crises. But, if people tell me their problems, I will then offer up a solution and actually expect them to do it. I need to stop issuing advice to people that really don't want it and won't follow it, and learn that sometimes it's just enough to listen and nod.

4. I like sitting on the bathroom vanity and soaking my feet. I will fix a cup of coffee, grab a book and sit there for an hour with my feet in the sink, soaking in the warm water.

5. I have to touch stuff when I'm shopping/browsing whether I buy it or not. It just begs to be touched, fondled, held.

Tagged:

Gail

Becky

Bedazzled

Kath

Nirvana

It's done, over, finis. I didn't go into debt over Christmas and I'm not broke. It's my own Christmas miracle.

But it gets better.

I'm on vacation for 2 weeks. From both jobs.

Pass the sweats and call me lazy.

I'm about to take 'sloth' to a whole new level.

Christmas?! I Own Your Butt.

OMG. I am so excited.

I've been seriously plagued by the "I don't know fairies" this year. Annoying little fockers. That's what happens when you have teenagers who aren't the 'gimme gimme' kind of kids. They've been poor. Real poor. But at this time in our lives we're not rich, but we're not poor either. Thank you God.

I tried to eliminate the "I don't know faries" by offering to take the kids on their first plane trip. My boys are 20, 20 and 18 and have never been on a plane. So, I suggested instead of buying a crapload of 'stuff', that we get up Christmas morning and go to the airport and go have an adventure.

We could set a budget, google cheap last minute fares to anywhere, pick a destination that was in our budget and go have an adventure. We could fly to Washington DC for lunch then come back home. Fares were less than $200 round trip. Christmas fun for 4 people costing under $1,000. Not only doable, but a damn fun idea. Or so I thought.

2 sons said "Sure!" They were game.

But alas, boys will be little boys... and one lone voice said, "But will there be presents under the tree Christmas morning? I like the way we always have Christmas. We have our traditions." le sigh. What to do when you have a child that's still a kid at heart? You go shopping and buy crap.

And then 2 days ago, their Dad stepped up. Last year he gave them I.O.U.'s. This year he gave them each $300 to shop and ME money too. But by that time, I had already spent part of my budget buying presents. Now, with the extra cash we could now swing the trip, but talk about excess! No. I decided I it was financially smarter to continue with the usual presents idea and now I would still have money left over in the bank after Christmas. Wow. Wouldn't that be novel.

But that meant I was back to battling the "I don't know fairies."

Yesterday the words "Creative Zen" (better than iPods the kids say) were heard. Do you know how hard it is to find one of those this year? I found 3. Woohoo! They cost more than the friggen plane idea. 80% of the budget on one gift for each child.

And then, while whining about the "I don't know fairies" to a guy at work, a fantastic present fell into my lap.

I mentioned I saw pool tables for sale under $500 at Sports Authority but they were sold out.

He mentioned he had a regulation pool table in perfect condition sitting in his basement that he wanted gone.

I'm taking it off his hands for $50.

Oh yeaaaa! Take that you blasted "I don't know fairies." I own your asses now.

Shopping Smart

Why did I not think of this before?

Delegate.

I have 3 elves with cars. Delegate.the.shopping.Duh.

To All

Wishing Everyone a Very Merry Christmas. And a Persnickety New Year.

Oh Chit.

OMG. There are 2 - -TWO(!) shopping days left. TWO.

After work yesterday, I grabbed the nearest son (aka helper elf#1) and took off shopping. I was actually armed with ideas. Ideas people. Ideas!

We hit the Dollar Store so helper elf#1 could get his tradition out of the way and then it was on to the store. There were no crowds and plenty of stuff on the shelves. We started wandering.

"Oh look" said helper elf, "gloves. I sure need some gloves."

Into the basket they went. "Pretend you didn't see that" I said. "Merry Christmas."

"Oh look!" said helper elf, "A suede comforter. You know brother C wants a comforter. Boy, I sure would like a new comforter like this too."

Into the basket 2 comforters went. "Pretend you didn't see that" I said. "Merry Christmas."

And so it went.

Today I'm grabbing helper elf #2.

Hey, no system is perfect. And a mom's gotta do, what a mom's gotta do.

Pfft.

The other day someone asked me, "So does your blog have a point?"

uh.....No.

No it doesn't.

But thanks ever so much for asking.

A Plan is born

To date or not to date, and why? That's the question I'm pondering tonight.The only answer I can come up with is 'because I'm bored. ' But when it comes right down to it, I'm really too lazy to put the time and effort into dating.

And before I get started, this isn't a question about sex. I can find that anywhere. It's about a r.e.l.a.t.i.o.n.s.h.i.p. and I don't think I want one of those. Do I? I can't decide. Le sigh.

Tonight the answer is no. I don't. I mean why should I? I've already been married. I have my own house. I support myself. I have total control over the remote, the bathrooms and closets. What more could a girl ask for? It's Nirvana.

I read many 'single women' blogs. Women who all sound to be looking for Mr. Right. Many of these women are in their late 20's, professionals, humorous as hell, but rather desperately seeking the husband of their dreams to father their not yet to-be-born children.

I have children. It's incentive not to get married.

But then I was watching TV and saw a commercial for E-Harmony. So I went to check out the site. (Boredom manifests itself in strange ways.)

Damn, these people are way too freaking serious. After about the 3rd page of answering questions, I quit. Anybody that fills out all that paperwork is looking for marriage. I mean what kind of guy would fill out a mega questionnaire like that? Girls? Yes. We take quizzes in magazines. Answer a 40 page questionnaire? No problem. Guys? Well, I'm thinking, not so much.

And just watch those E-Harmony commercials. The couples are so sweet, in love, yadda yadda...but look closer. Those women have death grips on the guy. There isn't a one that isn't latched onto his arm or super glued their hands together. Scary.

I think what I really need to find is a small circle of single girl friends...

And a pool boy like the Christmas Santa. I mean, he comes to the house weekly, doesn't take up closet space, I don't have to feed him..........Yep, I think that he would do quite nicely. Quite nicely indeed.

Now, where to find one. That is the real question.

Amazon.com

Dear Ms. K:

Thank you for the e-mail and order.

Your
shipment was returned to us yesterday,
due to a mis-sort by the carrier.

***A replacement shipment containing the
undamaged items is already
on its way to
you.***

Some of the items on your order,

Miniatures Pack [Qty. 2]

were in damaged condition in the
returned
package. We placed an order for brand new
replacements for
you,
and the replacements
are currently on back-order with the
publisher.

Do you wish to keep these items on back-order,
cancel the
order and
receive a refund, or cancel
the back-order and order other
items?

Please let us know.

Please let us know if there is
anything else
we
can do for you.

Thank you for your business!

fuckity-fuck.fuck.

Scrooge

I'm so done with wandering through stores aimlessly. Next time I go shopping I better damn well buy something.

So far Christmas is stacking up like this:

Son #3, the 18 year old. Shooting boots and a new glove bought a week ago. He wore them last weekend at a competition but at a price tag of $200 I'm making him wrap them and put them under the tree.

Son #2, the 20 year old. I ordered some stuff from Amazon.com. It hasn't arrived yet. It's just stuff. It's Wednesday. Christmas is Sunday. I need this stuff. Then I need to find more stuff.

Son #3, the 20 year old college kid. His hard drive is going on his lap top. He ordered it and it will arrive.... sometime.

I'm out of ideas. I'm lacking inspiration. I'm on a strict budget.

I'm so scrooged.

Clueless

Today I was.....

...... asked out by an ok (yawn) guy.

.......and was asked to pencil in phone sex on my calendar for Christmas Eve by another.

Is this an improvement?

I can't tell if things are looking up or not.

Report cards

I'd like to report that I went out this weekend.

I'd like to also report that I started my Christmas shopping, or that I finished my Christmas shopping, bought groceries, cleaned the house, decorated, cooked, got organized, sent out Christmas cards, wrapped packages, did laundry, caught up on some reading, put the lights up on the outside of the house....

But I didn't.

I'm not quite sure what I did this weekend.... but I know it wasn't any of that.

Christmas Shit

Well, the Christmas shit is up. Such a cheery sentiment isn't it.

This was the first year I groaned opening up all 12 HUGE storage bins slammed full with decorations. I keep yelling, "Why do we have all this stuff!" Nobody answered.

Now that the house is decorated, all I do is look around and keep thinking about having to pack it all away. Groan again.

Why then, when I'm in stores do I go "Oh how cute!" and think "I want that" when I see another christmas decoration.

The kids are seemingly blase about Christmas. They don't know what they want. Which is great. Just fuckin great. Shopping is always soooo much fun. Who doesn't like to elbow through crowds, spending a boatload of money on nothing.

Gratuitous semi naked pic

Yes, I think I definitely could be a Christmas Ho.

Ho.Ho.

Caption Contest

Ok guys... get me in the Christmas spirit and write me a caption for what is obviously going to be another 'Maxine Christmas' around my house.
I'll send the best caption winner something in the mail.

Of course it might be just a card..... but hey, it's something, and it's mail.

Oh, and I'd uh, need your address... so if you want something GREAT (like a card or something in the mail) e-mail me your address...

... or if you're shy, afraid I might stalk you, or live in a box and are draining free internet off someone else, don't send it. Just play.

So write a caption, send me your address and hope for the best.

C'mon, you know you wanna. Besides, I have a tongue that's bored, and stamps just waiting to be licked.

A Christmas Whine

I always have these great ideas that I want to do at Christmas.

Plans full of fun things I'd like to do with the kids. Gift ideas that I'd like to buy and send to friends far away. Cookies I'd like to bake for us to enjoy when sitting around the fire in the evenings, looking at the Christmas tree and listening to Christmas music. Taking the kids to see the Nutcracker. Taking the kids to see the lights, somewhere. Anywhere. Shopping all dressed up with my kids, then having lunch or dinner out afterwards.

Who am I kidding?

There are 24 14 (Holy night Kath!) days until Christmas. I will be working most of those days. I don't even have the decorations up from the store room, much less a tree up. I have no idea what my budget will be for Christmas so shopping has to wait. I don't have the friends addresses. My kids are boys....Teenage boys that would rather muck out the pool than go shopping to the mall with Mom. They still don't know what they want for Christmas.

They would however be more than happy to eat any cookies that were here.

Damnit, I want a Hallmark card kind of holiday, just once.... And I don't mean a Maxine Shoebox card either.

Happy Friday!

Good morning Boss #2,

I'm still at home working with Boss #1, Delta and our travel agency trying to get him (boss #1) out of Bangor, Maine instead of Boston.

Seems the airlines figured both cities start with "B" and maybe no one would notice if they re-routed him there. He noticed.

I would have been on time to the office except I can't e-mail, make calls, and google flights while driving.....

I'm just not that talented.

~Sie

With e-mails like this, I sometimes wonder why they haven't fired me yet.

Random Thoughts

Long distance dating is not dating.

It's a lay over.

Time

It's odd how time gets away from you.

I recently passed another year anniversary of my divorce.

Anniversary of a divorce. What a rather oxy moronic title that is.

I don't have regrets about divorcing him. I regret that my marriage didn't last. I don't miss him. I miss having someone wonderful in my life.

Relationships. Why are they so damn hard?

At what age do you pack away the ideas; the desire for romance; the lust for passion; the wishes of love; the thought of finding someone; and thoughts of marriage.

How old is too old?

Just some cold wintry thoughts inside that seem to mirror the weather outside.

I really do need to move to a warmer climate.

Mission Accomplished

And to think I actually put my face on this blog.

Shopping

Well now....

The clutch on Son #3's Jeep went out.

And insurance on Son #2's car will be close to $900.

That kinda wraps up Christmas now, doesn't it?

Ho.ho.damnit.ho.

My Next Mission

Oh and Gail.........

Game on.....
(snicker)

All That's Missing Is A Cat

If I had a sex life, I'd blog about it.

If I had a dating life, I'd blog about it.

I don't. So suffer with me... won't you?

After my nap on Sunday....I got my lethargic butt busy and cleaned. I cleaned the silverware drawer. I cleaned the sink. I cleaned the stove. I cleaned the kitchen floor.

I can feel the envy.

I did not however, clean my closet... yet.

Lethargy

I'm in a serious rut. However, the rut isn't really the problem. It's the attitude that goes with it.

I'm just so damn lethargic. Too lethargic to even try and climb out of the rut I find myself in. It just seems easier to lay here at the bottom and look up, rather than muck around to find things to build a ladder and climb out.

I thought about posting pictures of my closet, thinking perhaps public humiliation would be the catalyst needed to clean it. I'm too tired to go and find the camera.

3 weeks until Christmas. Just the thought of pulling out all the decorations is enough to send me back to bed.

I can't even muster up the interest to go shopping for the kids. When I ask what they want for Christmas, I'm getting their standard answer of "I don't know." Wandering through crowds and stores looking for "I don't know" is frustrating and expensive. More so when I don't know what my budget is yet.

This weekend and the next two will be spent traveling 5 hours to and from Ft. Benning for shooting competitions with my youngest. It makes even me more tired just thinking about it.
Now that I've depressed everyone, I think I will go back to bed. Maybe I will wake up with some energy.

One can only hope.

Paths

I've noticed.... if you take it day-by-day, one step at a time and keep concentrating, you will tackle problems as they cross your path.




But, sooner or later, you're gonna have to take a break and look up.





Which of course means you run the risk of standing there saying..... "Where the hell am I? "



One can only hope it's a nice spot for a picnic.

So.....

It's my birthday.

woop woop.

Don't PFFT me!

Ok.. I changed the URL... again.

I'm sorry if anyone got lost. I've been sending out change notices and (raising hand in oath) I promise to stay put this time.

NO! I really do.

Really.

Blogging Thru the Neighborhood

I was out-and-about link hopping on blogs and came across a couple of men with Blogs.

One guy had 112 links on his sidebar. Every single one was about sex. (You can tell they are sexual by the titles like: "My life as a call girl," and "I'm a lusty wife," and similar titles.

Another guy had 102 links on his sidebar. They were all sexual too.

100 sexual links. Oddly enough... or perhaps not oddly enough.... the men were unhappy with their (married) sex life.

Make of that what you will.

Danger Cook

I am not sure how it happened and neither is my sis and her family. They remarked at how weird it is that they came to my house for Thanksgiving. I mean c'mon, after all the thanking is said, Thanksgiving is all about the food right? And food and my house? Well, normally the two have nothing in common.

Would you go to a house where cooking skills are (at best) labeled 'dubious?' Not me. I'd plead a case of Bird Flu and stay home.

And yet they arrived anyway, ready to eat. le sigh... Such is trust. and... such is pressure!

I decided to cook two birds instead of one. Which to me only means twice the chance of disaster. I know..... I'm a risk taker.

So, with 9 people eating, that also meant two pans of cornbread dressing (from scratch); two pans of Sweet Potato Souffle (from scratch); one large offering of mash potatos (from real potatos); String bean casserole (that I can't stand); a ham; deviled eggs; pumpkin bread; pies; biscuits; mushroom gravy; giblet gravy; ... the element of danger increased 10 fold.

And then the chance of danger doubled. Again.

Seems niece and her race car driver boyfriend are vegetarians. OMG. That meant no eating turkey. No eating ham. No eating dressing cause it has turkey stock in it. No eating beans, unless they pick out the pieces of ham. Oy.

Dinner now had the real chance of being awarded the biggest yuk in family history. And remembering my mother's cooking, that would be one hell of an award to win.

But look! People with forks, travelling to mouths. And no one running from the table. Plates were cleaned, and 2nds were dished out. SECONDS people!

I so kicked Thanksgiving ass!

A Cornucopia of Wishes

May you and your family be blessed with a cornucopia of blessings today and always.

I want...

I'm in that mood again. The 'I want' mood.

It starts out simple enough as a daydream. You know the "wouldn't it be nice to....". Then it morphs into "hmmm, I wonder if...." and before you know it I've developed some scathingly brilliant idea that I'm going to do "IT!"

The dPOD (darlin Pool of Doom once known as the damn Pool of Doom) started out like that. Nevermind I didn't actually own my house at the time, I wanted a pool. All that cart-before-the-horse way of thinking seems to work for me since I ended up being able to buy the house and have a pool built last year.

And now it's a beach house or condo I want. It's what I've always wanted. The thought is in the severe daydreaming stage now. I recognize all the signs. Thinking about the beach. Thinking of ways I could afford it. Thinking of days spent wandering along the waters edge looking for sharks teeth, or painting out by the ocean. Thinking how nice it would be to spend my vacation time there. Retiring there one day and having the kids or future grandkids (eek!) spend summers there with me. le sigh.

Nevermind that half the time I wonder how I manage to afford the gas, power, food, mortgage, insurance, car, phone, cell phone, cable, kids, internet and all the other miscellaneous bills that come in each and every month. It really makes no sense that as a single mom I can do that even with 2 jobs .... but still....

Now, I want a house at the beach. Maybe in 10 years I will read this entry from that house... who knows, stranger things have happened.

Food Talk

It's that time of year again. My annual foray into cooking. I manage, much to the delight of my family, not to cook 360 days of the year. I will occasionally fix soup. To say that cooking is so not my forte is an understatement. They learned this early on and normally they let me off the hook.

But they put their collective feet down at Thanksgiving. "You will cook." they demand. And not only am I forced to cook but I have to fix the dishes that have become a tradition in their lives. Nevermind that the dishes are those that their 'born to cook southern Grandmother' makes ... and that I am the daughter of a transplanted yankee, who's idea of a tasty dinner was to toss a chicken in a pan, turn on the oven, open a box of frozen peas into boiling water and call it tasty... Bless her heart.

Nope. It doesn't matter that I did not descend from a great cooking family. Their father did, and therefore they got recipes for me from their southern Grandmother.

Recipes? Oh please. The woman never wrote, much less read a recipe in her life. She cooks by sight and sound. "You know those sweet potatoes just don't sound right, " she said one year. They sounded fine to me, mute.... but then I never had a close rapport with veggies, so what did I know. Over the years I've used the same recipes and added my own touches when I could. Some instructions that originally read "add brown sugar til they look right," have been replaced by the instructions "add 2 cups." It's helped. Trust me.

This year not only will I have to struggle through the old southern recipes again for the kids, but my sister and her family of 4 will be having Thanksgiving dinner with us too. That means double everything. Hmmm, I wonder... if I double the amounts listed on the recipes will the sweet potatoes talk louder? Or better yet, maybe they'll talk and give me hints on how to make the dressing.

So yes, I will cook again this year as ordered and heaven help any of them that don't sit down at the dinner table, fill their plates, eat til they fall out of their chairs, and then climb back up and ask for more.

Thanksgiving is in 2 days. I guess I should buy a turkey or two soon.

My family is so gonna owe me.

Idle Hands Are The HTML Devil's Workshop

Hello. My name is Sie and I'm an HTML addict.

I also don't know what the fuck I am doing. (I'm not on AOL therefore I can say the "F" word.)

I just spent 5 hours screwing with the template.

I still can't get the comment on the archive pages to show up in a different font. However, I did add a new border.... tho don't ask me how.

I have way too much time on my hands. I think I need a man. Or a life. Or both.

Ya think?!

Sundays... So much better than Mondays

It's wonderfully cold and cloudy today...

Just what a Sunday needs.

I can lay abed without the guilt.

Oh sure, the kitchen probably needs cleaning; but I managed to walk through it with blinders on the way to get my coffee, so it's all good.

I love cloudy Sundays. I can be lazy without the guilt.

Yep, lazy seems to be my forte.

But Baby it's cold outside

It's 27 degrees here this morning.

And where the hell are my winter clothes? I must have some somewhere.

I mean, I got up and went to work last winter and the winter before, and I know I wore something....

I know this because naked is really NOT a good look on me.

I'm home!

Welcome to my new secondary home. I am going to painstakingly move 1 year of journaling here. So bear with me. There won't be any new posts for a while until I am finished.

Good thing I use Photobucket to store my pictures.

I understand that you can list your journals with BlogLines and get updates on new entries. And you can sign up with http://www.changenotes.com/tell.php that will e-mail you alerts daily on the blogs you set up to watch. That way you don't miss your favorite authors. A big thank you to Kraztweety2 for this new info.

Now.... To learn some fancy (or any) HTML language and decorate the Summer home I have here...

Save Me

Well the twins did it, the little ba**ards. Nevermind that it would drop kick their mother further into old age. They went ahead and did it anyway.

They turned 20 on Saturday. I mean how rude. 20 years old! Now when I meet some guy that smiles at me and then says he's 28... all I can think about is OMG my kids are his age, and that I have shoes older than they are... Kinda ruins the whole fantasy thing I could have going.

Now I have to find a 30 something. No wait... I can't do that either. My best friend has a son who is 32 and came to give me a quote for some stairs off my deck.... I've known him since he was a kid, he's still a kid! Let's just say I was having to chant his moms name in my head to keep myself on track.

When he left, I did however call her and asked 'when the hell did your son turn hunky. ' She laughed (fortunately really good friends can do that) and said it hit her the same way the other day.... AND that he was now dating her hairdresser who was 41. Hey... I'm not that far away from 41....

Naw.. she'd kill me. So.. 20 somethings are out... 30 somethings are out... which leaves 40 somethings.... And 40 somethings are generally looking for 20 somethings.... of which I am not. But if I were 20 something, I'd want a 30 something.... and we already know how well that goes over...

Where was I... normally I have a point, but I lost it.

Damn kids, I think they've shoved me into celebate senility.

I Love Dust

Last year I posted pictures of my tea pot collection.



I still enjoy collecting them and they're still all over my house. Although now I only buy the teapots that I find are really different or insanely cute.




But now, I've given into another weakness. Plates.... as in dishes plates .

I've always ooh and ahhed over some of the cutest sets in stores, but took a deep breath and passed them by. I mean really; how many sets of dishes does one person need? Buying a service 0f 8 everytime I see a set I like would just be, well stupid. And expensive. Not to mention I quit throwing things a long time ago.... And then... I got those plate racks from Freecycle. A perfect excuse to go plate shopping.

And look! There are still two spaces still open. I think another addiction has been acquired. How many plates and plate racks are allowed before it becomes weird, or tacky?




Hopefully I'll stop before my house ends up looking like a thrift store.

Or then again....maybe not.

I Spy.. EEK A Mouse

Seems I have a little mouse reading my journal.

Yep, college boy has been checking up on mom through her journal. Oh boy. I figure I have a few choices.... I'd could go private; quit writing; start a new journal with a new name and tell them I don't have one;

OR.....

I could start talking about sex and wait to hear about how he ran screaming from the dorm room holding his eyes, stumbling blind and incoherent into the arms of therapy. Hmmm... Decisions. Decisions.

Party Pagan

This year my neighbors put on an even bigger haunted house. Now you know why it costs me $60 in candy.Of course I could close my door and turn off the lights like some of our other neighbors do....but what fun is that?!

So I just hit the grocery store early, stock up on candy and wait for the crowds to appear. And they do. For 3 hours straight.Tell me those Mormons don't know how to party pagan!

The Flicker of Tomorrow

Saturday night brought with it a fire that burned warmly; casting a soft glow across the carpet. The soft aroma of coffee was wafting in from the kitchen just beyond the couch where I lay. The TV volume turned low while it's glow competed against the light from the lap top. I snuggled down into the couch. I was alone. The house was quiet. Each child gone for the weekend. The phone would remain silent as it always did. There would be no calls. There never were. Tonight would be no different. I wonder if this is how my future feels.

The Faces Of Halloween

If you were wondering where all your trick-or-treaters were this year....



They came to MY house.


This year I bought $60 dollars worth of candy. No way I was going to run out this year. My kids are too old to go candy collecting, so there would be no bags to steal from this time. I was determined to be prepared.


I mean could you say 'sorry no candy' to any of these faces?

The treat was - they got candy. The trick was - I got a picture and they walked around with flashbulb eyes for a while... hehehe.


And yes, I took pictures of almost every single one of the kids that came to my door (around 200).



My evil plan left me exhausted.


But as you can see, the kids loved having their picture taken.

Cold Mondays

43 degrees.

Where the hell are my sweaters.

These can't be my pants. Who the hell switched my pants with some anorexic biotch's pants.

Do I own anything other than sandals? I know I did last year. Where the hell are my closed toe shoes?

8:55. I'm supposed to be at work at 9:00.

I would have been on time if "somebody" had some decent clothes to wear.

I guess I could wear one of my long skirts. But that requires boots. Is it cold enough for boots?I need to go shopping. I hate shopping.

That's it. I'm calling in sick.

No I'm not. I'll wear jeans. No, I can't breath in those jeans. I wonder how they'd feel if I showed up in sweatpants.

!#%^^*+! sFreakin Monday.

Such are the Monday morning thoughts of a woman who needs to lose 10 lbs

Judi's Art Essay Contest

Church was over later than usual that Sunday morning. My (then) husband and I, along with hundreds of others spilled out of the main Sanctuary and started down the walkways and large expanse of lawn that led to the parking lots and annexes below. We were trying to make our way in the crowd to the Children’s Church building and collect our sons from their class. We picked up our guys and started making our way back down along the large church campus while being jostled occasionally by people anxious to collect to their kids and get to their cars too.

As we were walking, I noticed off to the right and across the open grass, a young girl about 10 years old with a younger boy. They were standing very close together holding hands.

I slowed down and kept glancing over at them constantly. I noticed there were no adults standing near them and something just seemed very odd. This was an extremely large church congregation; a few hundred people at least, all who were milling around everywhere. There were people making their way down the sloping hill passing all around the kids down to the parking lots and yet these two children seemed to be alone, standing in a clearing of sorts. “A clearing of souls,” I remember thinking when I saw them.

As we got a bit closer, I thought perhaps the young boy was crying. And then I heard his sister. She was sobbing.

Sobbing.

I hesitated for a minute wondering what was wrong and also if I should get involved. Before my mind could answer, I realized I had broken off from my husband and kids and was cutting across down the hill, my high heels sinking in the ground, as I made my way around other people to the kids. I knelt down in the grass in front of them and asked the little girl what was wrong. I remember her brother’s eyes were so very, very sad.

While crying she told me that when their (children’s) church was over they came out, there was nobody around and she thought her Mom had left them and then all of a sudden there were people everywhere and she was afraid. I told her that ‘big peoples church’ just now got out a bit late, and that I was sure her mom was still here and we would go find their Mom.Just as I stood up and took their hands, Mom appeared. I briefly explained what had happened and she hugged her children promising that she would never, ever leave them or lose them, and next time to stay in class. She thanked me and I watched as they drifted happily off into the crowd, down the hill.

My husband and kids came up and he asked me what that was all about. Why I took off across the grass. Did I know those kids?

I explained what happened. Nothing spectacular. They were just lost was all. But he found it very odd. ”I didn’t see the kids until you went over to them. How did you notice the kids with all these people?” he asked. “How did you hear her crying? And how did the mom find them in the crowd when she didn’t know they weren’t in Children’s Church?” I couldn’t answer. “So in other words,” he continued… “In all the time it took for us to get out of church and get the boys, those two kids are standing out there crying and not one person stopped before you did?” When he said all that, it did seem rather odd. But, I was left with that feeling you have when you do something really good.I had pretty much forgotten about the incident until last night when I read Jeroldssis, author of “It’s All About Me I Think.” And the wonderful entry she recently wrote.

So here’s my secret thought for Judi’s Art essay.

I sometimes think that angels walk among us; yet often go unnoticed. Their wings are concealed, draped in inconvenience.

A gentle whisper of conscious that we often turn away from. You can tell who they are if you help one. Their eyes are full of pain that only the heavenly that are returned to being earthbound know.

I believe they are testing mankind. And so often we fail. But sometimes, if we’re very, very lucky, we listen with our hearts and succeed.

Life

They say that "Life is in the details."

I have no details.

Seriously, none. Nadda. Zilch. Zip..

Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

Seasons

Fall. The deceptive beauty of Nature when she begins to reveal the bony skeleton of time; Shedding it's camouflage and laying itself bare to critical eyes.

Life begins to draw in upon itself, back into dormant silence. Furious cries of colors erupt around us, flailing to hold on to the warmth that was. As the sun turns it's back on the fluttering pleas of life, colors burn and tumble, crisply echoing their disappointment.

Promises never met are now receded. Soon to be hidden away amid the gray. Will they remain unbroken. Can they withstand the silence or will only shards of them return when the promise reawakens. The patience of time will answer.

Winter will come with smokescreens of warmth to offer solace. Soft umber glows spiking out against a brittle sky keeping the promise lit.

Time is crystallized, quiet, reflecting itself in holiday glitter. A cascade of thoughts will be mirrored in a chandelier of expectations. Another table laid bare with sterling promises. Will they be kept or packed away like cherished heirlooms.

Melancholia creeps in, its tendrils twisting, tightening. But it will gain no purchase in stone. Soon its futile grasp will be broken by the simple, gentle dawn of a new day.

Such are the thoughts of a woman not ready to give up Summer.

1, 2, huh?!

The gym Update:

Step Class:

I understand why they call it Step Class. You're one step away from looking like a completly uncoordinated ass. Apparently tennis shoes negate any rhythm I may possess.

Body Pump Class:

One word. ... Holy Chit. Ok. That was two words. But still, holy chit.

When I recover enough to walk normal again, I will be back to this class. Anything that hurts this much, has to be doing something good.

Trainers:

You get one free class with a trainer. No thanks. I've informed 'mine' that I won't discuss exercise on any day that ends in "Y".

He's like12. And weighs less than I do. And didn't get the joke. Enough said, he's outta here.

Other than that, the gym is great.

Just kick.box.me.in.the.head.tread.mill.my.ass.off.great.

Aim...

We're in Mississippi.

We're gonna shoot something.

And since the spoiled child got a $TON$ of new shooting equipment for his birthday, including a new precision gun that is the price of a car....

...he better hit what he's aiming at.

On This Day In History

It's days like these that make me wish I was a drinkin' woman.

Dear Mom

Todays post is courtesy of my college guy...... Here's a morning e-mail from him.


"MOM HI I AM AN IMPORTANT INDIVIDUAL IN YOUR LIFE AND I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU HOW MY IMPORTANCE HAS SPREAD INTO MY USUAL ROUTINE IF YOU WILL PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO LOOK AT MY FEW WONDERFUL IMAGES OF MY MONDAY IN A WHITE ROOM THIS WILL GREATLY BE APPRECIATED AS MY BREAK-TIME IS QUITE LIMITED OKAY NOW LOOK @ THEM U. C"

(For the record, after reading this, I asked him if English was his first language....or if a remedial grammar/punctuation class was on his schedule.)






And not one request for $. God, I love this kid.

Tagged!

Tagged by Courtenay of Courtenay's Canister.

1. Go to your 23rd entry.
2. Write the 5th line..........

It seems the entry only had 3 lines. Which blows the theory that I ramble on endlessly about nothing now, doesn't it. PFFT.

OOPS

Ok...So here's the deal. You're trying to "be good."

You've substituted your beloved chocolate Goobers for the individual 100 calorie packs of Chips Ahoy cookies. And you get one pack of those a day for dessert.

You're enjoying your little splurge dessert ~ having eaten 5 itty bitty wafer cookies out of the 13 itty bitty wafer cookies in the pack when you drop the remainder of the cookies on the floor.

Do ya get a new pack?
Do ya eat 5 less out of the new pack?
Do you eat the spilled ones off the floor?
How many calories are there in dirt?

Such are the thoughts of a woman going through chocolate withdrawal.

Goobers and Mirrors

Well, I turned around the other day and figured out I was in major credit card debt and paying extortion to the companies at 27% (or more) in interest.

So, I took out a home equity loan and paid the damn things off. After all the years of barely making it, struggling, and living paycheck to paycheck it still amazes me that I'm able to make it as a single mom. I know without a doubt I am able to do this because of my 2nd job.

BUT...le sigh.... and you know there's always a but....

.....and in this instance it's mine... Butt that is.

I also turned around the other day and caught sight of my butt in the mirror...My first thought was ... "Who the hells ass is THAT!" Sitting all day and most of the evenings at a desk has caused my butt to grow. In fact it's grown right out of it's single digit pants into double digits. I've come to the conclusion that desks are fattening. I know it's not from the Goobers I keep nearby, so it has to be desks.

So... I joined a gym, again.

And as long as the scenery is good at the gym, it will give me incentive to get my lazy butt there after work every day. The better the scenery ~ the longer the workout. That's my workout plan.

So if you see any weird little numbers at the end of my journal like +2 or more hopefully -10, you'll have an idea of how good the scenery at the gym is and how I'm doing .....

Let's hope the scenery is fine, mighty fine... for my butts sake.

An Artsy Entry

Dear Judith posed a question

What animal would you be

If you had the chance to change your shape

and live so differently.

I would of course be a house cat

To be pampered, spoiled and more

And spend my hours in kittenish splendor

with never a manicured paw outdoor.

Wait! Perhaps I'd be a bird,

with the world at my feet.

It would be a traffic free life, that's for sure..

Now wouldn't that be sweet.

Hmmm...But then again I'm not fond of heights,

So that choice might not be the best

So I'm back to being a cat again,

yes, that's better than the rest.

Although ... you know....it might be fun,

to be a wild animal too;

A Lion or Tiger or Bear in the woods.. Oh MY,

No, that will never do.

I could be an ant on a picnic all day,

or a housefly on the wall;

but both are rather dull when compared

to a cat who has it all.

I could of course, live life as a dog,

they are pets showered with love;

but when it came to doing tricks

I'm afraid I'd have to say *ahem* shove... it.

A cat will look at you like you're quite insane

And do whatever, when it pleases...

Which is pretty much the way I live my life now

just without the fleas -es.

A Judith Heartsong Artsy Entry

One

Today I am One year old.

Which is absolutely ridiculous.

Everybody knows I don't look a day over 11 months. PFFT.

So today, I offer a toast to cars - My very first entry, one year ago today.

9/11

I remember.

I remember the screams of a woman in my office as the 1st tower fell. Of her frantically dialing her best friend who worked in the North Tower. The sound of his cell phone ringing, echoing on a speaker phone in our office. Of her messages she left, begging him to return her call.

It would be a message he never received.

Today I remember that life can change in an instant.

Give

It's just so incomprehensible both what has happened and what is going to happen.



No amount is too small.

I know we all wish there were more that we could do.

Where else but here

A serious question.Is there any other country that has a government that can do or does what ours does? Do they have an agency like FEMA that will come in and cut a check to help people?I seriously don't know, so if anyone out there does, let me know.

Is there anywhere else in the world where the Federal Government pays you in the event of a natural disaster

It's All George's Fault

Ok....

There's been a lot of finger pointing, and name calling and blame blaming.

But... the dumbest thing I heard was the German Environmental Minister, Jurgen Trittin stating that George Bush was to blame for the hurricane because of global warming.

Ok... hmm.. If I remember my science correctly.... the planet had an ice age how many years ago? (looking around ... no ice here).... and the industrial revolution was how many years ago?

I'd say the planet was warming up for a long time without us. Sorry Trittin, we can blame a lot of things on President Bush, because somebody has to be made to blame, and as the President of this country, the buck stops there... but as far as the hurricane being his fault?

uh... no.

That number has beendisconnected.

Has anyone heard from the International Community about coming to the aid of the American people? It seems to be very quiet......anyone? Hello?.... anybody? World.....? Hello? Are you there?

Anybody home?
Hallo. Jedermann Haupt?
Sind Sie dort?
Hola. ¿Cualquier persona Casero?
¿Está usted allí?
Bonjour. N'importe qui À la maison? Êtes-vous là?
Ciao. Chiunque Domestico? Siete là?
Hello. Qualquer um Home? Estão você lá?
こんにちは。家だれでもか. あなたはそこにあるか .
你好。任何人家庭? 是你那里吗?

Hello? Anybody remember a Tsunami? Water...destruction...people hurt... dying....chaos...***

Oh.... and we aren't asking for it, and we might not even take it if offered... we're stubborn like that... but wouldn't it be nice if the world offered and responded en masse anyway.


*UPDATE: blurbs from Der Spiegel

[ 22.34 ] The governments of more than 20 countries offered after the hurricane "Katrina" assistance to the USA. According to data of the State Department in Washington are under it is enough allied like Germany and Japan, in addition, poor countries such as Honduras and the US-critical government in Venezuela ..US Foreign Minister Condoleezza Rice thanked the German minister of foreign affairs Joschka Fischer according to data of a AA speaker in a telephone call for the German offer of help. It wanted to inform US president George W. Bush about the German offer. Rice, which originates even from the Federal State concerned Alabama, stressed that she will not hesitate, to return to the offer of the Federal Government. An official request for aid from Washington so far however not yet forwards. Also the German Federal Armed Forces are to examine according to agency reports, to what extent it could take part in assistance..

After the federation and Bavaria now also Baden-Wuerttemberg assured to the USA after the devastating hurricane assistance. Prime Minister Guenther Oettinger expressed his sympathy in a letter to US Ambassador in Germany, William Robert Timken, and offered to him "any support". Baden-Wuerttemberg can render help by the technical welfare organization, with crews to the search for missed one and with drinking water processing plants, let the CDU politician communicate.
Nice to know*.

Rant like an Idiot!

OMG! People in Atlanta are idiots. A RUMOR started that there was going to be a gas shortage because of an interrupt in supply lines. A RUMOR... and then you know what happened.

People flocked like freakin Lemmings to gas stations. Prices are close to $6.00 a gallon in downtown. They drained the gas stations of gas...and then panic set it.

Idiots, all freakkin idiots. Had they gone about life (gas) as normal, the supply would have been diverted here in other ways with no one the poorer.... but no.

Let's panic like idiots. Yea, Thanks. Idiots.

I wonder if any of these people were related to the ones that built a city below sea level, surrounded by water, on the coast and thought.... oh yea.. this is a great idea.

And yes.. one last time.. IDIOTS.

k... I feel all better now.

George?

Where's George

...I don't know, he's certainly not in MY wallet........ but if you find him (or any of his friends), send him back, pleaseandthankyou.

Why do I try?

Soooo.... I did the laundry and while I was on a cleaning roll, I decided to wash the comforter set on my bed.

It scorched (burned) in the dryer.

Apparently my laundry skills match my cooking skills.

A Domestic Goddess, I'm not.

Hurricanes

You don't have to live on the coast to have those words plant a seed of fear in you.

I lived in Charlotte when Hugo hit. We were without power for 10 days. It was a war zone.

My house here in Atlanta was hit and damaged by Francis last year. Then Ivan hit a few weeks later and my house was damaged again. Then Jeanne hit.. and well... more damage.

All of which insurance didn't cover.

This summer Dennis hit and tore up just minor things in the backyard... but a leak started on the back side of the house. And now Katrina. If these winds and rain make it to Atlanta again from the outer bands, I'm not sure the house can take it.

I never did plant that damn tree. (go here for an explanation)My prayers go out to everyone in Katrina's path.

Life Sciences in action

What you DO, and what you DON'T do, matters.

This is the lesson I try to teach the kids.

This lesson is then followed by another. ..For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.

I'd like to take credit for that last one, but some guy named Newton already named it; Relativity. Regardless.... neither of these life science lessons have taken with the kids, or so it seems.

An example is this: If it's your job to take out the trash, and you don't do it, it starts to pose a cat hazard and also smells up the kitchen.

In the kitchen is the coffee maker. Can we see where this is going??

When... oh.... saaaayyy a certain Mom gets up and stumbles downstairs to get her morning IV of coffee started, and she assaulted by the smell and site of trash all over the kitchen floor because the cat got into it.... she might just hunt you down, rip the covers off your bed, aim a squirt bottle and hose you down while you are still in said bed and won't stop until you go clean it up.

See....an action and equal opposite reaction.

It's all relative.

In this case the relativity is sons.

If You could change one thing.....

Scalzi asks us this week....... "what do we want." ... ahem......(adjusting tiara)

All I want is whirled peas.

(Oh come on..... you know if I didn't type it, somebody would and no, I am sooo not linking this to his page... and yes, it's been a long, dull day. How can you tell? and.... if you don't get it.... Whirled peas is beauty pagent speak for World Peace which would be really nice to have.

And no, I've never been in a pagent of any kind...inspite of being southern.)

Ya. Bored.

Transferring

There's a great site called "FREECYCLE." And it looks like every city and state has one.

The premise is 'Don't throw it away, freecycle it and keep it out of the landfills.'

It's a place where you post items that you want to give away. Items that somebody else might want and you just want out of your house.

So, while cleaning this week, I finally broke down and parted with about 50 books. Parting with books is tough, but I succumbed in the battle of the great Dust Bunny War of 2005. (which by the way is still being waged).......

Sometimes I participate in "BOOK CROSSING," but not with 50 books. So I posted them for free on FreeCycle.

And it just so happened, that while I was on the site, a lady posted these. It's first come, first serve and you have to move quick if you want something that is posted. I think my e-mail was there a split second after she posted these. They're plate hangers, and it just so happens I have a bunch of plates I've been meaning to hang.... Woohoo! I don't know which I like best ... the plate hangers or the fact that they were free!

Promise

In the heart of woman;
In the soul of man.

In the face of a child;
In the touch of a hand.

In the whisper of truth;
In the depths of Faith

In the breath of a lifetime;
In the arms of fate

In the screams of Hope;
In a time of strife

In this I believe
is found the promise of life

Dust Bunny flu

It's all finally caught up with me. I've finally succumbed to the Dust Bunny Flu. It's been coming on for a few weeks now....

…………..That annoying itch when I look at the carpet.

…………..The eye tick started upon seeing the kitten paw prints in dust on the dining room table.

…………..Watery eyes started when I looked around at the state of my house.

…………..My throat became dry and prickly when I said "We need to buy a carpet cleaner."

But I really knew I was delirious with fever when I wanted to call into work sick so that I could stay home and clean. I did however go into work today... cuz I'm a trooper like that.

After work, I so hoped the symptoms would disappear. They didn't.

Five hours after arriving home from work, I had steam cleaned, vacuumed, dusted and rearranged the family room.

Five hours - one room.

There are 7 more rooms with carpet, and that’s not counting stairways and hallways.

I’m thinking I might need professional in-home care…. like a maid. I wonder if my disabilkity insurance at work will cover this since I am clearly incapable of doing this on my own.

Pfft.

PERK!

!~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~

You'd think after all the cleaning yesterday, I'd be exhausted. It was after 3am before I finally fell asleep.

Two alarm clocks blaring finally roused my sleep deprived butt out of bed, only to stumble downstairs for my life elixir, Coffee.

Extreme panic attack... push the button for "ON" and no "ON". No "ON" is not an option. I will not and cannot accept no "ON". I repeatedly punch the button with as much success as pushing an elevator button repeatedly. The coffee does not arrive.

Now understand that I burn through more coffee makers faster than dust bunnies multiply, so I wasn't too surprised the machine didn't turn on. I've had it about a year, so it's probably due to expire. Then I remembered that the carpet cleaner had cut off when I was using that outlet so I moved the coffee maker to a new spot in the kitchen. Maxwell House! "ON" !

Who cares that the outlet doesn't have power. There could be an electrical burnout waiting to happen. It doesn't matter. It was 7 am and I had coffee.... If the house is still standing when I get home from work, I'll figure it out then.

But for now..... Ahhhhhhhhhh, Nirvana.

MOOOOOOO

The kids and I were talking about sex. Uh yea. Hmm.

Now, normally it's not a subject that comes up (no pun intended) and it's also a subject I'd prefer to duck and cover about.

Yea, yea... I know. Chicken = me.

The first time one of my kids said 'orgasm', I think I spit coffee out my nose.

He used it in a sentence which to the best of my knowledge was something like, "Hey Mom, how does a hermaphrodite have an orgasm?"

coffee....nose.. ouch.

This time some friends of theirs were here when the discussion came up. And I offered the girls the age old advice of... "Why buy the cow if the milk is free."

The kids couldn't believe I said it, and I couldn't believe they hadn't heard that old saying before.

"Did you just call girls heifers?" My son asked.

"Hey, if the "Mooooo " fits." I replied.....

The Deadly Sins and Me

I'm going to hell in a handbasket.

Hadon is doing a piece on the 7 Deadly Sins... And by my reckoning.... I've pretty much got them all nailed down pretty darn well too, if I say so myself.


Pride: Yep, got that. The bad kind too. As in too proud to (insert reason here). Hey! You don't think I'm going to admit it here, do you? Seeeeee pride... got it. bleh.




Envy: Hmmm... Not too much of this really. But it jumps up at times. Like when I think of Howie Long's wife. oh yea. I wanna be her for a day; or night....
or two nights.



Gluttony: I've been told I'm a glutton for punishment. Tho I don't think that fits here. But I am glutty with Goobers. Those chocolate covered peanuts. Glutton with a capital 'gluh'.



Wrath: Well, I did throw a couch, tv, computer, Playstation, Nintendo, etc., etc., into my garage one night at midnight.... so ummm, yea I think I've got the hang of this one too.


Greed: Yes. I want it. I want it all and I want it now damnit. Specially stacking stones and plants. I want the entire Lowes Garden section transported to my backyard ** Snap snap** Oh, and bring Goobers with you too.



Sloth: I have clothes mountain taller than Everest in my laundry room and dust bunnies running amok in every room. Sloth, I definitely have in Spades. In fact I'd rather play spades than clean.


and last but not least, sigh....... Lust.

Lust: hmmm ... 6' 4" dark hair, a body that is climbable, blue eyes, thighs that can... well.... anyway. ..... If I see all that, I'm drooling.. And nothing says Lust like a puddle of wetness.



Oh yea, I'm goin to hell in a handbasket. One gooey, chocolatey, wet handbasket.

tis Not a pretty picture.