New Years Looms Large

Well folks, it's that time of year again. The time we make resolutions that usually last for about 12 hours. We've all been there. We've all sworn to lose weight, join a gym, quit smoking, stop doing somethingoranother or, start doing somethingoranother.

We turn around and realize that another year has passed. If we're fortunate, we look back and say "Damn, I did it. I accomplished it."

Or more often the case, we look back and think, "What a fucking waste this year was."

So here it is again. Dec 31st looming large. Time to for us to set new expectations in our lives. Expectations that in just one day we can change something in our life we're not happy with.

And if truth be known... we can. It's just that sometimes 1 year is not enough time to achieve it.

I've long grown past the 'party in a bar' New Years celebration. For the last few years I've stayed at home, barely caring to watch the ball drop in Times Square, but still I resolved to do a few things. In years past I've resolved to get out of a nothingness of a marriage, get a financial hold on my life, buy a house. All of them took more than one year to do. But this year, I look back and find them all done. Frankly, it's rather surreal.

It's also a time to look back and say thanks for the things that did go right during the year. What I thank God most for, is the continued good health of me and my kids.

But, I have one last resolution left. One last thing I want to accomplish. And this one is huge. This one is scary. This one would change me almost more than all the others. And I don't know if I'm brave enough to do it. It's something I wish for everyday. I battle every day over it. Every.single.day. But having it done, would make me so very happy.

It'll be interesting to look back a year from now, and see if I had the guts to go through with it.