The Men in My Life...

I swear I didn't ask for this. Ok, so maybe ONE night, I might have thought "It might be kinda nice to have a man around...." but I NEVER said the words outloud, or specifically asked God for it. I swear I didn't! I know better!

But, somehow I ended up with a few men anyway...That'll teach me to even vaguely think such thoughts. So now these men appear at my house a few times a week and I have to pay them. WHAT'S up with THAT?!! Anyway, here are a few things about the men in my life.....

First I have "Car guy": Car guy was referred by a neighbor. He was an out of work mechanic and comes to your house to fix your car. It's great. Well it's great as long as you don't actually need him to come work on your car.....Every night for the last two weeks he appears at my house.... I swear he smirks when he gets in his car and it starts and stops as it should.

Then there is.."Pool guy": "Pool guy" is all my fault. I admit it. I had this crazy idea of putting in a pool. Hence, I acquired pool guy. I've had him for 3 months now and I'm ready for a divorce, or at the very least a long separation. I'd gladly trade him for "water guy" if there was one around.

And of course you can't have "Pool guy" without "Tile guy." Tile guy is 70. Yes, 70. Coping and tile work took 10 days. I haven't seen him for a few days. He's either finished, or dead, I'm not sure which.



Then there's "Construction guy." Now I wouldn't mind "Construction guy" if he was like the ones in commmercials. You know, flanel, muscles, jeans that make your knees weak... but no, no such luck. But then I'm not keeping him so no matter. It would just make seeing him nightly a bit more enjoyable.

Anyway...after Tropical Depression Frances moved in, my living room ceiling moved out and I acquired "Construction guy." Hurricane Ivan is heading our way, so I'm hoping "Construction guy" will be finished and will move out soon. Of course "Construction guy', being a consctruction guy, had to notice the outside of my house (TaraII) is looking worn and promptly informed me that $5k would fix all the wood trim/paint/caulk and general repairs that were needed.

I wonder if I divorce "Pool guy" if I can get a settlement? pfft... forget that, I just hope I end up with a pool when that one leaves. I guess "Construction guy" and I will be seeing each other for a while.

There have been various other "Guys" around of late.... all with muddy boots and hands outstretched...

So when people ask me "Don't you miss having a man in your life?" I can honestly answer "Heck no, I'm too damn broke for one."

Disclaimer: (For those of you that may be confused and don't get my sense of humor... I am NOT dating/sleeping with/involved with any of these men....!!)