I swear by all that is mechanical, I hate cars. Hate em, hate em, hate em. Unless of course they run perfectly, then I adore them. But when do they do that?!!
The mechanical law of relativity says....."If one car breaks down in any way, shape or form; any other vehicles in your possession (or driveway) will soon suffer the same fate."
For example. Car #1 and Son #1. This car lives at UGA. It resides quietly in a very cheap parking lot (kneeling, giving prayer of thanks for that at least), and really shouldn't be driven except for trips for son #1 to come visit his adoring, wonderful Mom (me) on the weekends.
Nope, this car decided to stray to the student center to gather with friends to watch the Bulldogs (insert obligatory woof woof here) play somebody (I mean is there any other team but GA?, now really). It was studiously parked in the visitor parking lot and then promptly towed. Seems Son #1 didn't get the memo that the alumns coming in for the games (bringing their alumn money and RV's) get the parking lots.
He summoned up the courage to call me the day after and tell me he's lost his car. After much scheduling, much like an air traffic contoller, I arranged for son #3 to drive to college where son #1 lives and shuttle him to get his car.
One week later, and $270 poorer, son #1 is once again the proud non-driver of a car at college....meanwhile back at car lot central...
Car #2 and Son #2: "Mom", he says tentatively. "My brakes sound 'funny'." I don't know where he gets his sense of humor, cause I don't call the sound of crunching, grinding, and barely stopping, "FUNNY."
Without this car, son #2 can't get to HS, ROTC, Shooting practice, Anime meetings, and generally ANYWHERE and becomes a nightmare, sulking around the house. Happiness is not free you know, so I place a call to the "Car guy". "Car guy" says he will be out to take a look at the car.
A week later "Car guy" appears. (See the "Man report" to be written later). "Car guy" gets in car... and guess what?! Car won't start. "Well," I think.. "at least now I don't have to worry about the brakes."
Back to air traffic controller mode as "Car guy" makes a list of parts I'm gonna need... and NO, the parts didn't come in, so now car #2 is resting on jacks in mydriveway, waiting. My neighbors love me.
Car #3 and Son #3: "Mom", says Son #3. "When "Car guy" comes back here can he look at my breaks too?" I suddenly have the urge to throw myself under the jacked up car. "Sure hon, why not." It's futile to resist. I know what is about to happen next.
Car #4, Mine. So, now I have schedules worked out while we wait for parts, "Brakes for everyone!" the car guy declares.... I pat my Jeep lovingly, whispering... "nice Jeep, nice Jeep". It rebels when you call it a car. I pull into the parking lot at work and turn the key and..... sigh..... it won't turn and come out of the ignition. Ok. I try to crank it again.. nothing. Dead. Not even the radio comes on. turn, twist, swear, jiggle, plead, try to trick.... nope that key ain't going anywhere.
I knew I should have laid down under that other car while I had the chance.
Get "Car guy" on the phone... "Car guy" is almost as incredulous as I am, 'cept he's happier, cause I'm supporting his family this month. I finally got the Jeep to crank on/off again, but the key is still stuck in the ignition. I stare at the Jeep thru the office front windows, hoping "it" can't hear me cursing at it. "Car guy" will come by tonight with the parts for the other two cars and look at mine while he's there. Assuming of course the Jeep will crank again and I can get home.
Make a note to be nice to the lawn mowers, I think..... I'm figuring anything with wheels and an engine is out to get me this month. I already have a car on jacks in my driveway, the last thing I need is uncut grass in the yard. I mean I may be southern, but at least I don't have to look like it.
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