The jerk

Remember the movie, "The Jerk", with Steve Martin?

There's an infamous(?) scene in where the phone books come out, and he's jumping around and screaming because his name is in it...

I felt like that this week.

But my excitement was a book. Two books. From Rebecca. :) (see sidebar for her blog)

Now I need to get my lazy butt in gear and return the favor. In the meantime..

The books are here! The books are here!

Yes, I'm easily amused at times.

Ho HO HO

Is it just me... or are people getting weirder?

I was shopping, as is the unfortunate habit at Christmas time, and was finally at the cash register at Best Buys. I inquired how to purchase a reserve copy of a video game that is due to be released in January. Stores do this, but I've never done it, so I was unsure of the procedure.

The cashier politely responded that yes, they have it, and yes I can reserve it, but I need the box. She then offered to send an employee to go grab one for me while she scans and checks out the purchases I've made. Great! awesome! I think until....

.... the bitch came....

The cashier called over this bitch girl and told her to go grab two copies of the game for me... to which the woman replied, while throwing her hands in the air, "Oh no. She gonna haf to do dat herself. I don't do that. Nuh uh." and then she walked away.

um yea. Did I mention BITCH. Great employees ya got there Best Buys. Real good customer service.

I requested the manager...... Just to complain. I'm sure it made his day.

Then...

To liven up the office, I bought the 5 guys here at the office that were not on vacation, weird holiday hats to wear when we had our company lunch. You know the kind.... fuzzy reindeer antlers, funny elf hats, etc. Just something to make the lunch more fun.

They stared at me like I had grown horns. Well I had, but mine were candy cane striped with little minny mouse bows on them, but still .....they balked at actually wearing them.

I ordered them to put on the hats, or no lunch.

They all traded around until til most were satisfied with their headgear, placed them on their heads and down the elevator and out the building we went.

Somehow, the hats never made it inside the restaurant. Seems the car had eaten them or something.

......but I had a back up plan.

Santa hats. Innocuous red and white santa hats. They all eagerly agreed to wear them. Later I would make them don the more fun hats when we were back in the office and take a pic.... and send it to my boss as a greeting card. lol

I still can't believe they balked at wearing those hats. Who cares if you are wearing an elf on your head.. it's Christmas.. have some fun!

Another, 'huh' moment was while we were at the restaurant having our company lunch.

As we were all laughing over the never ending supply of headgear I seemed to posses, and enjoying our meal, I looked down the table and noticed one of the employees was not eating. I asked what was up and found out his food hadn't arrived. Now guys, I don't know about you.. but if my food hasn't arrived, and everyone else is half way thru theirs, I'd do something about it; OR... if I knew someone's food had not arrived and everyone eleses food had... I'd do something about it.

So I did. I got up, went to the serving area and grabbed the first person I saw, and let her know we were missing a dish. She arrived with it in less than a minute. simple.

The poor guy had sat there doing nothing, and the people around him doing nothing .... I just found that very odd. le sigh. I guess if you're too shy to wear a funny hat, you're too shy to ask about your food.

Oh well... just some "huh"?! moments I thought I'd write down....

and now.... I'm on vacation for TWO WEEKS! YAY! Happy holidays everyone!

Christmas wishes

Two miscreants have been running wild in my house for the last few weeks. I've been living with "I don't know" and "Nothing".

"IDK" & "N" are turning the season into a seasonal nightmare.

Seriously. A nightmare.

I love Christmas (usually). I love walking downstairs Christmas morning and seeing all the presents under the tree. I love knowing that every child has a special gift under there that they really, really wanted but didn't think he was going to get.

I love watching them eagerly tear thru the paper and gasp or laugh at what they find when it's unwrapped.

and, I love having a secret. A secret is always the last present they open and are taken completely by surprise. Last years secret was the pool table.

This year... I have none of that. No awe, no surprise, no gasps. This year not one son has asked for anything and I haven't bought anything.

Am I going to have to resort to gift cards?!

Oh imagine the fun... walking downstairs to find....

.....envelopes(!) on the floor under the tree. Whoopee!


Last night I asked "Guys, it's 5 DAYS before Christmas, what do you want?"

"I don't know" one says with a shrug. "Nothing." says another.

Five days. There are 5 days left until Christmas morning.

and not one... not one present bought yet.

This is getting serious.

Tis the Season ?!

Ok.. what IDIOT tries to schedule job interviews with less than 2 weeks before Christmas? ....

...... Apparently one idiot in my company.

Do they not understand that the last two weeks before Christmas are sacred?

I mean c'mon folks. This is the time people run around like maniacs.

We sit in traffic for hours on our lunch break attempting to gain acccess to stores so we can race through searching for those hard to find gifts for people you love (or hate) all the while counting the minutes we are going to be late back to the office.

If we do have any days off before the big "C", we are home untangling Christmas lights, trees, ornaments, children, and THEN sitting in traffic for hours attempting to access a store, ANY store for those yet to be bought gifts.

We do not - N.O.T. - under any circumstance, try to squeeze in something as important as a new job opportunity......

.......Or make me set them up for 4 people! pfft!

My Blind Side

I've always embraced the "No news is good news" philosophy...

...... along with the "ignorance is bliss" and "why vaccum today when you can have a son vaccum tomorrow" line of thought.

Which is probably why I walked around never noticing alot of things.

1. This hair (on my head) has got to be changed. What woman my age has waist length hair?!
2. My coat is at least 15 years old... and looks it. I really should at least take notice of fashions.
3. The carpet near the baseboards is darker than the rest of the room. I either need to fix vaccum or employ someone that knows how to work the vaccum.
4. Crinkle lines now frame my eyes. And my mouth.
5. Let's not even start on the fact the size 8 jeans can't zip anymore.

Pfft.

I think I'm beginning to see a whole new set of resolutions for the new year.

Two sides of the same story

What do Books and the Internet have in common? Both generate billions.

Buying books. Reading. Romance novels are a billion dollar industry. Women are usually the ones buying romance novels. These Romance novels usually involves love and sex.

Buying Porn is also a billion dollar industry. Demographics show that men are the main group who is online buying porn. Porn usually involves sex.

So, it stands to reason if you give a woman romance you will get sex, and if you give a man porn, you'll get ... . ... . .. .. ?

err hmmm. Nevermind.

Time

OMGosh....

........................I still have the Christmas template from last year up on my blog.

I really did mean to change it. Honestly I did.

And, I meant to post more. Honestly I did.

And I would have too, if there had been something to post about.

Maybe that will be my New Years resolution, to post daily (weekly?) in the coming year.

So now we're back to Christmas -insert major groan here- and once again I have No (none, nada, zilch) ideas on what to get the guys for Christmas. I swear one of these days they really will wake up and find nothing but envelopes with $ under the tree because Mom ran out of ideas. In fact this just may be the year. Putting a new engine in their Jeep has already cramped the Christmas budget.... YES another engine in a car was blown. I believe this makes 4 engines that I've put in various vehicles in the last 4 years. yea.... I hate cars.

So christmas... ummm yea.

Least my blog is decorated already.

Seperation Anxiety

Well he did it. The baby left for college last month. Yes, I know that makes the baby 18 years old, but I'm the mom, he's the baby, need I say more?

Anyway... oh boy.... was that rough. We arrived at the school for orientation and the begining of their Frog week, and are immediately split up into separate groups. parents you go here, students you go here. Fine, no problem. When we meet back up five (5!) hours later, we are told that we have 15 minutes to say bye to each other. Seems the students are going to the dining hall for dinner and we (the parents) are going home.

Oh, and did I happen to mention you can't see your child for a week after you leave? And you can't call your child for a week? And they an't call you? Or e-mail you?

Umm.. did I happen to mention this is a military college.....

Ummm yea.

I knew when I saw his face that there was going to be trouble. Pissed would be a gross understatement. Faced with 50 pages of regulations of things they could NOT do, and another 50 pages of things they WOULD do, son decided that college ROTC was not the way he wanted to go. He was going to come home that day and transfer to commuter status. That meant living at home and driving to college daily without the ROTC status.

Umm no.

So.... one of the many stressed out moms walked to her car crying, leaving behind an equally stressed out kid behind. For a week. Without anyway to call and say "I love you. Hang in there."

ummm yea. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Frog week was hell week. For both of us.

Remember

.... I remember being in the office and setting the tv up to find out what the hell was going on. I remember hearing Beth frantically dialing her best friend that worked in the North Tower. I remember the sound of her phone echoing throught the office as she frantically pushed the re-dial button over and over and over again. I remember the sound of the call just ringing. I remember her screaming "oh God, NO" as the tower fell.... and the echo of that unanswered phone.

I remember wanting to go and get my kids and hold them.

I remember trying to locate all "my office guys" who were out of town and making sure none were in the air that morning.

I remember crying for all the people whose lives were lost, and crying for the people whose lives would be forever changed.

I remember wondering if 'he' worked in the trade center.
.

Be Careful What You Ask For

I was whining the other day that I had nothing to think about or focus on. For a long time I had the pool of doom that commanded my attention. Once it was done, I briefly thought about landscaping, but decided I didn't want to go into debt again, so I dismissed those thoughts.

Sure I could think about how dirty the house is and what I could clean, but geesh.... that's even more depressing than not having anything to think about.

I refuse to think about my baby leaving for college. Hey, Denial works for me. I figure this plan will continue working for a few more days until I have to start writing checks and shopping for college supplies. College and ROTC isn't cheap. So, thinking about money issues.... well, I'll pass on that too.

Dates... hmm... Seems I get asked out by men that I find no initial attraction for. Who wants to think about boring dates? Ugh. pass.

So, as I said, I found myself with nothing to think about. Looking into the future wasn't a very fun place to go meandering.

And then.....

IT happened.

Something to think about. To focus on. To keep my mind busy and active.

Our office is moving. And I'm in charge of everything. Uh yeah. Everything from finding suitable/affordable new offices, to getting quotes for movers, to moving, to arranging the shift of phones, network, licenses, to ... well.... EVERYDAMNTHING....

AND... I have 2 months to accomplish this.

OMG, one day I will learn to keep my mouth shut ... ya think?!

Italy

I want to go to Italy.

I don't travel per se.... but for Italy, I'd hop a plane in an Italian minute.

By chance I saw an article about a travel agency that specialized in "ChickTrips." Trips for women with other women... a girls weekend of sorts stretched into 7 days. A girls week in Italy. Now THAT sounds like fun.

You stay in a villa, and a few delightful extras are included in the trip such as art lessons with an artist there, balloon trips, bicycle trips, etc.

I can't get it out of my mind...

Italy anyone?

Where in the World Is Sie

So ummm... what's new? Not a darn thing really.

Son #1 started college today at a local technical school. He's majoring in computer science. Very happy to have him back in school !!!!!!!!

Son #2 went to South America for a 7 week college trip. He's down there working in the clinics and hospitals, getting a feel for the medical major he's chosen. We'll see if he still wants to be a doctor after this.

His trip has gone smoothly with one small terrifying side note: On Sunday night, the house he was staying at was robbed while he was the only one there. He was in the shower when he heard someone ransacking the place. He got dressed, grabbed a pair of scissors that were in the bathroom, and made his way out the house and to a neighboring house for help. He had hidden all his papers in different places, so fortunately his passport was not stolen, but his bank card, drivers license and one of my charge cards was, so I spent time cancelling all those while battling the urge to call the airlines, hop a plane to Salta, South America and go hug my kid.

Son #3 was accepted to a few colleges and chose his favorite, North GA Military College. He will leave this fall. It's close to home, but he will be living on campus. My baby is leaving. I'm happy for him, but in denial that he will be gone soon. He's going to major in international affairs. Look out Blackwater here he comes.

And me. I've been......

a slug. :)

Transfer

If anyone is receiving a ton of alerts, it's because i'm transferring over more old entries from the previous journal. I'm finally at August of 2005...


Oh yea.. I'm right on top of things.

I'm so Booooooring

I didn't do it!

Sorry...knee jerk reaction left over from who knows what.

So. Ok. What's been going on you ask? Not a damn thing. So I guess I really didn't do it afterall.

Another car bit the dust. uh yea. hmmm.

The termite man came by and wants $800 to treat the house. uh yea. hmmm.

High winds came and finally managed to do what 3 hurricanes couldn't.... destroyed my gazebo. Le sigh.

The pool boy (and yes he was everything a pool boy should be) came by and cleaned up the *formerly called Pool of Doom*. The kids were beginning to ask if we had a coy pond in the back yard instead of a swimming pool. Scarey. But it's all clean and bascially ready. We're just waiting on the weather to cooperate now.

I'm still living on the computer, just in a different fantasy world - WoW - rather than AOL.

*Adopted* son moved out and I told another *adopted* son in a loud and *ahem* stern voice (and I quote) "Do not spend another night in this house without paying rent."

He showed up with rent money a week later and moved in.

I need a cookie.

or two.

2 pics

It was pretty there in the Rio Grande Plantatation in Puerto Rico.

The 'resort' is situated next to the rain forest and is more suited to people that want to relax and just spend time doing much of nothing. And that's just the way I like my vacations.